Personal coaching for dating

The relevance of personal coaching

Many people come to dating at a transition point in their life - maybe after the breakdown of a relationship or a period of time away from the dating scene.

We all need a little help from time to time - and at this time more than most - and it's really worth making sure that:

• You are well-prepared for the excitements that dating brings
  
• You have a safe haven to discuss any personal issues which are unresolved when you start dating or emerge during your dating relationships.
  
• Your flirting and communication skills are polished to perfection
  
• You’re self-aware and careful about the way you interact with other people on the dating scene, at a time when you and they may lack confidence and robustness.

Whilst it's easy to pretend that you know yourself best, it's all too easy to spend plenty of time - and a lot of money - dating, when you're just not in the right frame of mind. Tell-tale signs typically include:

• Continually searching for a formula - which just happens to be that of the man/woman you're still in love with.
• Pouring out your tale of heartbreak and heartache to anyone who'll listen.
• Obsessive behaviour: drink, drugs, sex, shopping

It's so worth overcoming your natural resistance to make sure you're thoroughly sorted before you go dating.

And that's where personal coaching comes in.

Choosing a Personal Coach

Like any coaching relationship, personal coaching is based on trust; so choosing the right person to coach you is a decision to make carefully.

Many traditional dating agencies offer personal coaching as a service - something you can check on the ABIA website. These will often be a good choice, because they are used to working with single people on their relationships past and present. Some personal coaches concentrate on corporate work and will be more accustomed to working on the development needs and desires - a slightly different situation from dating.

By way of example, dating agency RSVP employ a well-known personal coach to be their retained personal coach and he works with members one-to-one. It helps when personal coaches know the work that dating agencies do - and how it feels to be in the situation many of their clients find themselves in.

There are also a number of personal coaches who work entirely in the field of dating and style themselves as dating coaches.

How to choose the right personal coach for you

The relationship between you and your coach is the most important element in your decision-making.

Be sure to talk - or preferably meet - with potential providers and establish whether good rapport can be built. This is one decision you can't make solely looking at a computer screen.

Also look for some form of accreditation, so you know your coach has benefited from relevant training and is a member of a reputable professional body.

Beware packaged or off-the-shelf solutions: how will your coach know what you need until you have met/talked in depth for the first time?